Ok, ok, it’s hard for me to talk about DYAD without coming across as really, really negative. You see, DYAD is one of those weird games that reaches for these magnificent dizzy heights and reaches them. It’s one of those games that I’d describe as ABSOLUTELY MUST PLAY NOW-ish, to the point of me setting up a US PSN account a few months back solely to lay my hands on the thing and not regretting a single moment of doing that.

It’s a must play now because it gets so many things right and it’s one of the most spectacular visions of the real future of videogames (emphasis game) where play, visuals and audio all work as one in a very Minter-esque way, where you end up sitting back and really marvelling at living in a world where DYAD can and does exist. It’s also a must play now because it’s the finest example in years of videogames laid bare with all their flaws on display. And it’s both these things at once. It can’t even be fucked alternating..

That’s DYAD. The best and worst of videogames all at the same time. And when something exposes videogames so blatantly, it’s hard not to want to talk about that stuff even if it does come across as more negative than you’d like.

OK, let’s start and look at this. This is DYAD in motion.

It’s a little bit Tempest-y, a lot bit Rez and you’re probably watching that thinking “I have no idea what on Earth is going on here”. Which is fair enough. To complicate things a bit further if I picked another video about DYAD, you’d still be looking at it going “I have no idea what on Earth is going on here” but you’d be looking at a stage which is played in an entirely different way also. Just to *really* confuse matters.

To be a reductionist lunatic, DYAD is a tunnel racer. You start at one end of the tunnel, you generally have to get to the other end of the tunnel. Except on the stages where you don’t have to get to the other end of the tunnel. Along the way, you’re given various abilities and tricks you can perform to make getting to the end of the tunnel (or not getting to the end of the tunnel where you’re not required to get to the end of the tunnel) easier. It is, really, all the ideas for a tunnel racer in one videogame. All of them. And probably a few more for good measure.

So, that’s what DYAD is behind all the visual obscurity. Think Rez meets Tempest meets STUN Runner or something and you’re not quite close but you’re hovering around a ballpark somewhere and it’s not the wrong ballpark or anything but in about five minutes it probably will be because they’re all playing a different game now.

Which is the frustrating thing about DYAD. It’s got all these magnificent and beautifully realised ideas but it doesn’t sit still. From one stage to the next you’ll be doing something slightly different. In an attempt to do ALL THE MECHANICS, in an attempt to EXPLORE ALL THE MECHANICS, DYAD becomes a shopping list.

In order to progress from one level to the next, you’ll find yourself with a series of level specific challenges. Maybe this level does want you to race for 1,000 DYAD metres and be the fastest squid thing alive, maybe this one wants you to prod a number of objects with your shooty lance thing, maybe this one wants you to dance the fandango in the nude on top of Ben Nevis. You never quite know until you get there what you’re going to be faced with. It’ll throw in new stuff to learn and then go “ha, now do this 50 times” and you do that and the next level will come and it’ll go “now learn this and do this 100 times!” and you’ll fail a few times and when you fail you don’t get that teeth gritting I MUST SUCCEED, I WILL BEAT YOU because it’s all so arbitrary… DYAD becomes a shopping list. A shopping list of features, a shopping list of mechanics and a shopping list of tasks for the player to perform. Read Scott Nichols great write up to get that side of the story and how that can make a person feel.

Having played the crap out of DYAD, I can see where he’s coming from. I can see it because it’s one of the biggest frustrations I have with videogames so often, so often they spoil themselves by being videogames and doing what videogames do. They obscure the magic. DYAD obscures its magic. And don’t get me wrong, as I said, it’s got that magic, it reaches magisterial heights when it comes together and it’s a fucking marvel but man, DYAD makes you work hard for no reason.

There’s games where this isn’t so obvious, Skyrim or something, yeah? Go here, do that, here’s a shiny. And there’s a world built around the mundane and checking things off of your to do list and there’s always something else to do, more stuff to tick off and more shinies to get. Stripped of the cruft, stripped of the world building, you can see just what it is. Play DYAD and stare into the heart of videogames. It is a dark heart and you should see this, you should look at it and know it for this is what videogames are. It’s the collision of game worlds where these worlds invariably don’t meet under normal circumstances that exposes this stuff. The abstract doesn’t normally meet the mundane, the joys of the arcade zoner rarely meet the todo list, art and work so rarely collide. DYAD says “fuck that, I’m all of you. HAH!” and it’s quite amazing for that in many ways, y’know? Brassy as fuck, even.

And then DYAD is Eye Of The Duck. And you see the real DYAD for all it is and all it can be. Forget the beating heart of videogames, forget the todo list, forget the bonuses, the chaining and all that jazz, all videogame bullshit put to one side in the name of a 15 minute non stop DYAD experience. It is the best DYAD experience. It is one of the best videogame experiences you can have and you should play DYAD just for this because it is worth seeing, worth experiencing. It’s an amazing thing. It’s the moment at the end of the Wizard Of Oz where the curtain comes down except there isn’t an old man pulling the strings, it’s a party and your hosts are Jeff Minter, Dave Theurer, Eugene Jarvis and Tetsuya Mizuguchi and they’ve got David Kanaga on the decks.

And the memories of failing to achieve an arbitrary task and having to do it all over again until you get it right drift away into the distance for a while and you’re somewhere else. This is the Eye Of The Duck. Its name smartly chosen and entirely appropriate.

But then, maybe you won’t even notice the shopping list design before then, same as you never really noticed it in Skyrim or Fallout 3 or Borderlands or that free to play game you just grabbed for your phone that lists some quests you can be doing to while your time in the world away.

That’s the funny thing about videogames, really. Sometimes you just don’t notice the bullshit they pull and we’ve all got a different tolerance for it. Maybe you even like that stuff. Like you can buy any old preposterous shit in a really good film as long as you’re in for the ride and the things that can snap that suspension of disbelief vary from person to person. Maybe I’ve become the guy who can’t watch Dr Who because the TARDIS windows are the wrong shape? I dunno. DYAD snapped my suspension of disbelief at around the 30th restart of a stage and I suddenly started to question why it was making me do this when it clearly was such a beautiful thing just being inside DYAD. Maybe you’ll never see that.

Whether you do or you do not, DYAD is a game you really should play. And now it’s out in Europe, you PS3 owners just ran out of excuses. It’s a remarkable achievement. It is the best and worst of videogames at exactly the same time. You’ve got to see that.

Ok, let’s start this by saying that you should probably buy Hell Yeah! roughly right about now because it’s really, really good. Ok? Done that? Right.

It’s a funny old time for videogames. We’re at a point where I’ve just posted some words on an open world videogame being transposed to 2d and filled to the brim with eighties cultural references and that turned out well but we’re also at a point where Kickstarter is acting as a springboard and focal point for RELIVING THE PAST:PAST HARDER and contributing to writing that bizarre alternative history where everyone is supposed to remember that time when you got cloth maps with videogames even if you’ve never bought a videogame with a fucking cloth map in and have never seen one in all your years on the planet.

This humble site which used to be all about hobbyists making retro remakes very rarely has any retro remakes to write about anymore so we’ve had to move on, videogames from the past are very much the now and they’re not really just the preserve of hobbyists like when I first got into this game, they’re the mainstream. And that’s cool, at least when the mainstream gets it right but it very rarely does.

That thing we once existed for has become an IAP riddled hell hole with more cynical reboots just waiting in the wings. Zaxxon! Pitfall! Asteroids! Tetris! Remember, someone thought Sonic 4 was a really good idea, two games worth of really good idea. This week there’s a new turn based XCOM game which is all fine and that but the other XCOM, once an intriguing FPS seems to have found itself drunk in a ditch, kicked and beaten by those who simply will not stand for a different game with the same name.

The past is now part of our future, the present is well out of hand. Shit, look, even I’m at it now.

And it’s not just videogames.

It’s Instagram filters for that hazy 1970′s film effect to match that photo of you in Doctor Who undies your mum shows around at parties (I love Instagram because they sorta democratise the art of photography and make people less scared of flipping their camera out but still…).

I go into the shops and I’m not sure that I’m actually living in 2012 sometimes when I’m surrounded by record covers (except now you don’t play the records, you hang that copy of the Pet Shop Boys “Introspective” on the wall), KEEP CALM AND START STALKING or whatever hee-larious variation on this phrase from World War II that’s supposed to mean something to me in 2012, because what? I realise we’re sort of under the boot a bit these days but I think we’re supposed to be all chipper about the British spirit, tally ho, what what or something not “oh shit, there goes us”?

As a parent I wonder whether my child will find a time where he’s allowed the space to have his own future, y’know? It’s all got that sort of weird. Still, at least he’s got Adventure Time, right? That’s something.

Still here? Let’s bring this back round to videogames a minute.

See, this grand vision of the past they sell, it’s a fantasy. World War II wasn’t all Keep Calm… it was loads of “shit, bombs!” and “Alf’s son’s dead in t’war” and stuff. So many album covers gave the Metro-Cross cover a run for its money in the awful stakes and videogames, well, videogames weren’t always all that. Throw another sacred cow on the bonfire. Elite was a terrible thing and it was all downhill for ACG after Sabre Wulf. I kid, I kid. It was downhill after Knight Lore.

So many videogames now selling the fantasy of the old things over the reality. Remember that feeling, right? Hold it, because we’re going to market seven shades of shit out of it right about now. Sometimes it’s enough to make me hate old things, to make me resent the past and resent my generation and the generation before mine that chooses to cling onto all these things and to insist that their old things are the best things.

Sometimes I hate that maybe, just maybe, we played a part in all this with this place but then I remember this isn’t what we asked for, this isn’t what we wanted. We might not have always got there but at least we were trying to do these games justice, to do them with pride and out of love. We can all be proud of that, we did great. It’s not our fault the industry went and misunderstood the message.

And then along comes Hell Yeah! and Retro City Rampage in the same week. The same week as Zaxxon becomes an endless tunnel game with terrible IAP, the same week as so many people will be worshiping at the feet of those who walk in the Gollop’s shoes with their new fangled XCOM and I don’t blame them because it’s a good XCOM but still, XCOM. Yeah, in that week along comes two games that do the whole old and new thing, take it from opposite angles and come out with something that’s 2012, something that’s very nostalgia be damned, screw nostalgia, we don’t need no stinking nostalgia et cetera et cetera et cetera. Along come both these things and fuck, screw cynicism, right?

We’ve already discussed how Retro City Rampage takes one approach to making a brilliant thing, the new in the old. Hell Yeah comes at it the other way, the old in the new. Sure, there’s a deceptive tutorial stage that might mislead you into believing Hell Yeah! is something else but very soon it’s clear what Hell Yeah! is.

Hell Yeah! is Metroid by maniacs, it’s a lost Steve Crowe game, it’s the Ultimate-but-better that Odin were always trying to reach for, it’s not trying to attract you with its old school wares though, it’s all very garish, very bright, very in your face, very now. It’s taking bits from videogames past and trojan horsing them into videogames new without fanfare. As I said, it’s the opposite of Retro City Rampage.

Yet! It’s just a thing that is. No memories allowed. No time for memories! Look, here’s a new shiny thing and SQUEEZE THE MONSTER BETWEEN YOUR FINGERS and HIT IT WITH A SUBMARINE. Sure, folks of my generation will be able to sit back and say “eeh, ah eck, it reminds me of this game I used to play when I were a lad and it were all fields” with its dash of Wario Ware, its touch of Metroid, its dollop of Starquake or something else you know you’ve played before but it’s not just for us, this is a thing that my kid can say “this is mine” too (and as pointed out in a wonderful Spong interview, probably come back to years later with a few questions about its content too). This is sorta how progress is supposed to work when not inventing entirely new things out of thin air, surely?

Hell Yeah! is proof that you can do the good things from the past and not have to market them through the nostalgia lens, not have to staple an old name onto a new thing or an old name onto an old thing or an old name onto some tat. Just take the good things because they were good, no need for the rest of the bullshit. It’s a game for this generation and it’s a brilliant, brilliant one at that. The kind of thing you’d want to go into school and talk about because it’s that good. Unless you don’t go to school otherwise that could be problematic.

You get to play the prince of hell (who is a rabbit) killing a load of monsters in really creative ways after they caught you having a private moment in the bath with some rubber duckies, you get to do so over a massive world that’s full of joy at every turn with a game that mixes things up on a regular basis in case you get bored of the exploring/platforming parts AND you get to wear hats because if Valve have taught us anything in recent times it’s that hats are amazing.

It’s very 8/16 bit explore-em-up, it’s a lot bit Wario Ware silly, sometimes it’s a shoot-em-up, sometimes it’s a submarine in a maze game and sometimes, because it’s a videogame, it can be really teeth grittingly frustrating trying to clear a segment but that’s ok because everything else is so good.

Like I said before I got sidetracked, go and play Hell Yeah! roughly right about now because it’s really, really good. Ok? Done that? Right.

Right, Retro City Rampage then. Rude not to cover it, eh?

If you’ve seen even the slightest bit of publicity around the game (if you haven’t just where have you been?) then you’ll already be aware that RCR is a retro take on the Grand Theft Auto formula and you know, it very much is just that.

If you haven’t seen any of the publicity, stop right there and look at this launch trailer.

Crucially, whilst it’s very much the top down style of the Grand Theft Auto:Where It All Began games it’s not afraid to be the open world city game we’re used to playing in 2012 just with pixels instead of BIG 3D THINGS. It’s not quite the all out free for all madness of, say, Saints Row:The Third but it’s certainly not that far off. Retro City Rampage is very, very much a modern game.

For all its rose tinted specs, Retro City Rampage knows what year we’re in, lessons have been learned and solutions applied.

This is of course fantastic because it means you get all the glee, the joy and the silly of a fairly refined genre and all the crazy idiocy that this alternative eighties setting can bring, all made possible because it’s done in this 2d style that doesn’t require a team of 30,000 outsourced art factories to produce and no Nolan North or whatever on voices. All the voices.

Jokes that some games would stretch out for hours on end, they’re dispensed with in the first five minutes. It’s like REMEMBER THE EIGHTIES? YEAH, HERE YOU GO! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! 69 DUDE! NEXT. Doc Brown, Ninja Turtles, Ghostbusters, all the stalwarts of the nostalgia wagon present and correct SAH. That those first five minutes are wrapped in absurd Christopher Nolan pants makes for the oddest of juxtapositions. We all know what Batman:The Movie:The Game was like, here’s the alternative reality of The Dark Knight videogame too. Why? MODERN, that’s why. That’s not the only Nolan reference either or indeed the only Nolan being referenced in the game. SPOILERS THOUGH.

Of course, it doesn’t stop in the first five minutes, the entire story hinges around the plot lurching from one inane eighties pop culture reference to another, blink and you’ll miss another one of the buggers style but still, point stands, first five minutes – more than most games give in their time on this Earth.

You see, what Retro City Rampage is above everything else is entirely unrelenting in its commitment to this retro thing, to the point that the missions themselves are videogames you have played and maybe loved and it doesn’t matter if you haven’t played and loved them anyway because not knowing won’t spoil the fun. If you do know, it’s a potted history of the arcade sort-of-maybe too, no, no, this is someone’s childhood here, condensed. It’s not just the arcade.

Within the first hour of play (providing you don’t get distracted by running pedestrians over repeatedly) you’ll have played through a parody of SmashTV, Paperboy via San Andreas, Metal Gear Solid, Contra and… fuck, it does not fucking stop, it’s a load of videogames in a videogame without being Lazy Jones. Or maybe that’s it, that’s what Retro City Rampage is, maybe it’s Lazy Jones:2012 and all the ridiculous excess that entails?

Worth noting, the version of Paperboy in here is actually cocking playable too due to not being a load of oddly angled bollocks and instead opting for Trashman-view. That’s a plus point right there.

Right then, Retro City Rampage. It’s about a tenner or something and you should buy it from here (or PSN but I’ll always favour punting you the direct route). It’s videogames, lots of the videogames and it’s not OOH LOOK, NOSTALGIA. It’s VIDEOGAMES:THE VIDEOGAME with videogames in it. It’s pretty bloody great.

If ever you find yourself having one of those intermittent “meh, they just don’t make videogames anymore” moments then STOP. Right there. Help is at hand. And it’s at hand in the shape of the boomtastic Explodemon. Explodemon never stops feeling like a videogame and it’s all the more awesome because of it.

For those who can’t quite work it out, you’re a man who explodes. Sometimes on a timer, sometimes at the press of a button but always, always with the exploding into itty bitty pieces. Explode to jump higher, explode to explode walls, explode to kill enemies. Essentially, do some exploding. That’s what it’s about. Exploding. It’s a little bit Megaman, a little bit before anyone had really thought of Megaman, and a lot of bit fun.

It’s been out a fair while on the PSofN and relatively recently EXPLODED onto the PC. With a bit of a shitty whimper, unfortunately. Which is unfair for something as lovely-slice-of-videogamey-fun as this.

Grab it for some Earth pounds direct or for a few days only as part of an Indie Royale bundle (about 3 and a bit days left at the time of writing).

I’ve been rummaging through a fair amount of PSN and PS-mini stuff this past week and whilst a lot of it can be safely filed under “also available on your phone for cheaps” or “if you’ve got more than one device, it’s also over there” there’s a couple of gems tucked amongst the noise that are well worth a gander at.

The star of the minis show is pretty much The 2D Adventures of Rotating Octopus Character. Which is, obviously, a game about the 2d adventures of Rotating Octopus Character. Where Rotating Octopus Character rotates himself and rotates around 2d blocks to pick up other octopus (not rotating) in order to progress to the next stage. Also not bumping into 2d bad guys (not rotating) to avoid the 2d adventures of Rotating Octopus Character coming to an abrupt 2d end.

Oh, ok, have a video instead. It’s easier.

Anyway, if you’ve not really ducked into the minis, this is as good a place to start as any. Might as well start with the fun-o-meter set to max.

Two years after someone spotted that inXile had picked up the trademark for Choplifter, we now get a glimpse at what it’s going to look like and where it’s going to appear.

Choplifter “Explosion in a graphics factory” HD will be making an appearance on the PC and on the PS3. Which is nice as I get to add a PS3 category now. Huzzah. (What?)

Lummy knows about a price but I’d guess at “not too much, probably”. Because that’s how I roll. That’s how the kids speak these days, isn’t it?

via RPS, loves.